Here are the rules. List ten Honest things about myself and tag 10 other bloggers who I think are honest in their blogging.
Well, I only have two people to tag, and the one that didn't tag me was tagged by Jessica, so you'll just have to live with learning way more about me then you ever wanted to. I'm ok with it.
1. I am perpetually looking for validation. I don't know if I simply didn't get enough encouragement in my formative years, but these days, I always want someone's approval before I stamp something as "finished work". This mostly has to do with my writing. I am at a stage in my life now, where it is the definite only thing I want to do for the rest of my life, and I am constantly wondering if I am actually good enough to make that happen.
2. I have started to wonder if I am destined to live out my life alone. I watch shows like bridezillas and wonder how they found someone, but I can't seem to get the appropriate attention. Then I am led to believe that maybe I am just being stupid and making up reasons why some boys just aren't right for me. Maybe it is simple insecurity. Maybe I'm just expecting too much. Stupid Hollywood, giving me crazy ideas about life and relationships. :p
3. My maturity peaked when I was 15 and started working a full-time job to help support my family. Because of this, I secretly resent my parents for taking away some of my teenage rights of passage. I still wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone to Neumann and graduated from college in 2007 like the rest of my classmates.
4. I am terrified of clowns. This is a resonating fear that some people (who call themselves my friends) like to exploit. I am not ok with that. On top of that, I do not like horror movies. It makes me extremely angry when someone tells me that "they're not that scary". Don't discount my feelings. If I tell you I am afraid of something, I am not lying. Do not simply dismiss what I am telling you and completely invalidate my opinions and beliefs. I don't do it to you.
5. I am the most laid back person I kow (I'm modest too). I can get along with anyone. That is the reason I have lived with Jennifer for two years. I know that she is a difficult person to be around for long period of time, but I know that I can handle it. Unless, maybe I just lack a back bone to stand up to her with and that is why we don't argue. Just kidding, I am excruciatingly passive. I hate confrontation of any kind, and I don't like when people try to argue with me. That being said, I lately have wanted so desperately to pick a fight with Jennifer, that when she talks down to me, I have to fight myself to bite my tongue. I don't like discord, and I hate when my world gets flipped inside-out based on someone else's flippant attitude.
6. I give out second chances like they're going out of style. It is something I credit as a character flaw because it often leads to me compromising rather than facing an issue. But I sometimes wonder why others find it difficult to give second chances more often.
7. It takes a lot to get me mad, but when I do, you don't want to be the target of that anger. I have a lot of years of resentment stored up, and if you are on my bad side, then I will not hesitate to take it out on you. If you make me angry enough, I will hod a grudge, adn that grude will be long lasting. There is not one person that I have forgiven that has angered me enough to get to this point.
8. I am going to give my children all the things that I never had. Mainly, money to pay for their college education. But also, a savings account. Encouragement to follow impossible dreams. Room to grow their starved imaginations. The chance to find their own way in the world without my judgement. I will treat them as my children, not as equals or peers, and they will not know my hardships. They will not know if I am strugling. I will not rob them of their naivete, because I know that is what will keep them from becoming bitter.
9. I live my life in such a way that I am not ashamed of my choices. I am an open book, and anyone who wants to read, can peruse at their leisure. Ask me anything, and I will give you an honest answer, no matter how personal the question. I believe that relationships of any kind need to be built upon foundations of complete honesty. Without revealing ourselves to those around us, how can we expect to ever completely be ourselves?
10. There is not a day that goes by in my life where I do not miss ballet. I danced for 16 years, and for that time, I was never happier then when I had on that leotard and those ridiculous pink leg warmers. If my life had been different, I would have been one of those girls at Juliard. I would have kept that passion and maybe opened my own ballet studio. I want my little girls to know the joy that I felt when I put on those little pink slippers and sidled up to the barre.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Nice wig Janice, what's it made of?
The last time I blogged, I may or may not have stretched the truth a little. I'm not going to update with my Greece journal... it would just be a futile endeavor on my part in an attempt to keep those memories relevant. Which would, in turn make them less memory-like, and more, living in the past. So, in order to keep those memories in a pleasant place in my mind, I owuld like to move on to newer, fresher stories.
This past weekend, I went camping. (see, much more relevant). Spaghettifest was a delightful experience filled with many firsts on my part. I also spent the weekend with some of my favorite people, and some that I don't know well enough yet to include them in that category. But none of my least favorite people were there, so that was a nice bonus.
*Jump to the future*
Ok, not far in the future, but next week I am going to New York to visit Jonah, who has lived there for a while, and Lindsay who moved there on Tuesday. I am beyond stoked. SInce this is potentially where my remaining years of college will be spent, I am dying to check it out and get a feel for it. The only problem facing me is this: what if I like it too much? I might not get in. It will make my decision between Emerson and NYU that much harder. I won't want to leave. There are too many "WHAT IF's?"
And now, because I can, and because I am stalking Kathryn and Jessica's blogs (it helps that you are my only friends on here). I have decided to make a super long post and steal some things from the two of them.
First:
I am making mthese lists because I like telling people what I like - it makes me smile from the inside out.
Things I like:
- October, it's magical and beautiful, and smells delightful, and leads into all my favorite holidays
- Spending weekends holed up in tents with old friends and new friends and even some strangers
- Forgetting that there is a real world out there
- Bubble baths
- Curling up with a book on a lazy, rainy day
- Hugs
- Laughter
- Weddings
- Creating traditions and making them last
- Scrapbooks filled with memories
- Travelling
- Snowstorms
- Being in college
- Dancing
- Live music, especially when my friends are providing it and I can see how happy they are
- Buying new shoes
- Feeling a sense of purpose when I think about my life/future
- Trashy Soap Operas
- My mother's homemade chicken noodle soup
- Hectic holidays spent with family
- Road trips
- Close-knit groups of friends (think Ya-Ya Sisterhood type close)
- Thunderstorms
- Toasted everything bagels
- Spending hours in Barnes and Noble making fun of books with Jonah and never buying anything
- Apple cider
- Feeling worthy
- The fact that I genuienly care about almost every single person that I meet
- Playing the Sims all day long and ignoring reality
- Writing
- Glee/ Heroes/ Gossip Girl/ One Tree Hill/ The Vampire Diaries
- Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies and books
- When my older brother deems me cool enough to talk to
Things I don't like:
- Hypocrisy
- Secrets
- Bugs
- Liars
- Fame whores
- Working harder than others only to receive less praise
- My parents' divorce
- People that tailgate
- Flakes (people, not the corn type)
- Explaining jokes
- Really hot days
- Mushrooms, onions, olives, beets, anchovies, fish in general
- Getting too attached to people who let me down
- When Prokchop looks at me like he's going to kill me
- People who complain incessantly
- Disrespecting my work ethic
- Calling me a liar
Hmm, more likes than dislikes, I can appreciate that
And second stolen item:
1. Where is your cell phone? computer stand
2. Your hair? down and straight for once
3. Your mother? it's complicated
4. Your father? his birthday is today
5. Your favorite food? mac and cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Your dream last night? I got a new tattoo and woke up desperatly wanting it to be true
7. Your favorite drink? Hop, Skip and Go Naked
8. Your dream/goal? own a houseboat
9. What room are you in? cubicle
10. Your hobby? drinking? j/k writing
11. Your fear? clowns
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? done with school, successful, married (asking too much)
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? motivated
15. Muffins? chocolate chip
16. Wish list item? money for college
17. Where did you grow up? a few places
18. Last thing you did? copied and pasted this survey
19. What are you wearing? layers
20. Your TV? belongs to my roommate
21. Your pets? Porkchop and Teakwood
22. Friends? are my reason for waking up every morning
23. Your life? getting better every day
24. Your mood? ennui
25. Missing someone? lots
26. Vehicle? bonnie the bonneville
27. Something you’re not wearing? a burka
28. Your favorite store? Staples (no, really)
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? last night?
31. Last time you cried? last week
32. Your best friend? fantastic
33. One place that I go to over and over? Johnny Pog shows
34. One person who emails me regularly? Katty Shaffe!
35. Favorite place to eat? Magiano's
This past weekend, I went camping. (see, much more relevant). Spaghettifest was a delightful experience filled with many firsts on my part. I also spent the weekend with some of my favorite people, and some that I don't know well enough yet to include them in that category. But none of my least favorite people were there, so that was a nice bonus.
*Jump to the future*
Ok, not far in the future, but next week I am going to New York to visit Jonah, who has lived there for a while, and Lindsay who moved there on Tuesday. I am beyond stoked. SInce this is potentially where my remaining years of college will be spent, I am dying to check it out and get a feel for it. The only problem facing me is this: what if I like it too much? I might not get in. It will make my decision between Emerson and NYU that much harder. I won't want to leave. There are too many "WHAT IF's?"
And now, because I can, and because I am stalking Kathryn and Jessica's blogs (it helps that you are my only friends on here). I have decided to make a super long post and steal some things from the two of them.
First:
I am making mthese lists because I like telling people what I like - it makes me smile from the inside out.
Things I like:
- October, it's magical and beautiful, and smells delightful, and leads into all my favorite holidays
- Spending weekends holed up in tents with old friends and new friends and even some strangers
- Forgetting that there is a real world out there
- Bubble baths
- Curling up with a book on a lazy, rainy day
- Hugs
- Laughter
- Weddings
- Creating traditions and making them last
- Scrapbooks filled with memories
- Travelling
- Snowstorms
- Being in college
- Dancing
- Live music, especially when my friends are providing it and I can see how happy they are
- Buying new shoes
- Feeling a sense of purpose when I think about my life/future
- Trashy Soap Operas
- My mother's homemade chicken noodle soup
- Hectic holidays spent with family
- Road trips
- Close-knit groups of friends (think Ya-Ya Sisterhood type close)
- Thunderstorms
- Toasted everything bagels
- Spending hours in Barnes and Noble making fun of books with Jonah and never buying anything
- Apple cider
- Feeling worthy
- The fact that I genuienly care about almost every single person that I meet
- Playing the Sims all day long and ignoring reality
- Writing
- Glee/ Heroes/ Gossip Girl/ One Tree Hill/ The Vampire Diaries
- Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies and books
- When my older brother deems me cool enough to talk to
Things I don't like:
- Hypocrisy
- Secrets
- Bugs
- Liars
- Fame whores
- Working harder than others only to receive less praise
- My parents' divorce
- People that tailgate
- Flakes (people, not the corn type)
- Explaining jokes
- Really hot days
- Mushrooms, onions, olives, beets, anchovies, fish in general
- Getting too attached to people who let me down
- When Prokchop looks at me like he's going to kill me
- People who complain incessantly
- Disrespecting my work ethic
- Calling me a liar
Hmm, more likes than dislikes, I can appreciate that
And second stolen item:
1. Where is your cell phone? computer stand
2. Your hair? down and straight for once
3. Your mother? it's complicated
4. Your father? his birthday is today
5. Your favorite food? mac and cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. Your dream last night? I got a new tattoo and woke up desperatly wanting it to be true
7. Your favorite drink? Hop, Skip and Go Naked
8. Your dream/goal? own a houseboat
9. What room are you in? cubicle
10. Your hobby? drinking? j/k writing
11. Your fear? clowns
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? done with school, successful, married (asking too much)
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? motivated
15. Muffins? chocolate chip
16. Wish list item? money for college
17. Where did you grow up? a few places
18. Last thing you did? copied and pasted this survey
19. What are you wearing? layers
20. Your TV? belongs to my roommate
21. Your pets? Porkchop and Teakwood
22. Friends? are my reason for waking up every morning
23. Your life? getting better every day
24. Your mood? ennui
25. Missing someone? lots
26. Vehicle? bonnie the bonneville
27. Something you’re not wearing? a burka
28. Your favorite store? Staples (no, really)
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? last night?
31. Last time you cried? last week
32. Your best friend? fantastic
33. One place that I go to over and over? Johnny Pog shows
34. One person who emails me regularly? Katty Shaffe!
35. Favorite place to eat? Magiano's
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