And you though I was finished

Here are the rules. List ten Honest things about myself and tag 10 other bloggers who I think are honest in their blogging.
Well, I only have two people to tag, and the one that didn't tag me was tagged by Jessica, so you'll just have to live with learning way more about me then you ever wanted to. I'm ok with it.

1. I am perpetually looking for validation. I don't know if I simply didn't get enough encouragement in my formative years, but these days, I always want someone's approval before I stamp something as "finished work". This mostly has to do with my writing. I am at a stage in my life now, where it is the definite only thing I want to do for the rest of my life, and I am constantly wondering if I am actually good enough to make that happen.

2. I have started to wonder if I am destined to live out my life alone. I watch shows like bridezillas and wonder how they found someone, but I can't seem to get the appropriate attention. Then I am led to believe that maybe I am just being stupid and making up reasons why some boys just aren't right for me. Maybe it is simple insecurity. Maybe I'm just expecting too much. Stupid Hollywood, giving me crazy ideas about life and relationships. :p

3. My maturity peaked when I was 15 and started working a full-time job to help support my family. Because of this, I secretly resent my parents for taking away some of my teenage rights of passage. I still wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone to Neumann and graduated from college in 2007 like the rest of my classmates.

4. I am terrified of clowns. This is a resonating fear that some people (who call themselves my friends) like to exploit. I am not ok with that. On top of that, I do not like horror movies. It makes me extremely angry when someone tells me that "they're not that scary". Don't discount my feelings. If I tell you I am afraid of something, I am not lying. Do not simply dismiss what I am telling you and completely invalidate my opinions and beliefs. I don't do it to you.

5. I am the most laid back person I kow (I'm modest too). I can get along with anyone. That is the reason I have lived with Jennifer for two years. I know that she is a difficult person to be around for long period of time, but I know that I can handle it. Unless, maybe I just lack a back bone to stand up to her with and that is why we don't argue. Just kidding, I am excruciatingly passive. I hate confrontation of any kind, and I don't like when people try to argue with me. That being said, I lately have wanted so desperately to pick a fight with Jennifer, that when she talks down to me, I have to fight myself to bite my tongue. I don't like discord, and I hate when my world gets flipped inside-out based on someone else's flippant attitude.

6. I give out second chances like they're going out of style. It is something I credit as a character flaw because it often leads to me compromising rather than facing an issue. But I sometimes wonder why others find it difficult to give second chances more often.

7. It takes a lot to get me mad, but when I do, you don't want to be the target of that anger. I have a lot of years of resentment stored up, and if you are on my bad side, then I will not hesitate to take it out on you. If you make me angry enough, I will hod a grudge, adn that grude will be long lasting. There is not one person that I have forgiven that has angered me enough to get to this point.

8. I am going to give my children all the things that I never had. Mainly, money to pay for their college education. But also, a savings account. Encouragement to follow impossible dreams. Room to grow their starved imaginations. The chance to find their own way in the world without my judgement. I will treat them as my children, not as equals or peers, and they will not know my hardships. They will not know if I am strugling. I will not rob them of their naivete, because I know that is what will keep them from becoming bitter.

9. I live my life in such a way that I am not ashamed of my choices. I am an open book, and anyone who wants to read, can peruse at their leisure. Ask me anything, and I will give you an honest answer, no matter how personal the question. I believe that relationships of any kind need to be built upon foundations of complete honesty. Without revealing ourselves to those around us, how can we expect to ever completely be ourselves?

10. There is not a day that goes by in my life where I do not miss ballet. I danced for 16 years, and for that time, I was never happier then when I had on that leotard and those ridiculous pink leg warmers. If my life had been different, I would have been one of those girls at Juliard. I would have kept that passion and maybe opened my own ballet studio. I want my little girls to know the joy that I felt when I put on those little pink slippers and sidled up to the barre.